Freedom or intimacy? A traditional relationship -- the marriage, the house, the kids -- or a unique bond that flies in the face of convention? These are the kinds of questions that plague you whether you're in love or single.
You have a hard time choosing one path or the other, because they both hold appeal -- and at the same time, they both scare you. So, you end up stuck somewhere in the middle, either single and wishing you had love in your life or in a relationship but never completely comfortable with your commitment. You might get into struggles with your lover over how close your relationship should be; you also might hold yourself aloof while they try to get close, or even leave the relationship as soon as things start looking like they're moving toward commitment and the long term. But once you're alone again, you might regret your hasty decision to leave...and so the cycle begins again. Or not! Instead of resisting commitment, you can face the fact that you're afraid of it and start doing the difficult work of figuring out why, and how you can balance love, independence and stability in your life all at once, and on a long-term basis.