All of your relationships -- with friends, family, coworkers -- are marked to some extent by conflict, and that includes your romantic relationships. You may think this is just the way it is, or that this combative energy comes from everyone else, but it really originates within you. Through the course of your life, you've developed the perception that the world is against you, and your only course of action is to be on the defense.
While you may have grown up in a household that was full of conflict and blame, those conditions no longer have to be a part of your life if you don't want them to be. It is possible to lay down your arms, so to speak; to become a calmer, more forgiving participant in the world and seek out friends and lovers with whom you don't have to be on the defensive. That's your challenge in life and in love: to learn not to jump to the defense every time you feel threatened, and over time, to learn to feel less threatened by others in the first place. In the meantime, you'll have to tone down that temper if you want to make a connection with that special someone! Your short fuse and confrontational tendencies may turn off a potential sweetie.