Anxiety about being alone and having to provide for yourself might make you push too hard for commitment with lovers who just aren't right for you. You're attracted to people who are older than you or conservative in their values -- who represent those qualities that seem so elusive to you: dependability and predictability. And therein lies the root of this problem: You want a lover you can count on; one who won't upset the apple cart of your life.
But when did you convince yourself that you couldn't handle changes as they come, and make adjustments accordingly? If you get into relationships solely based on the hope that you'll be able to sink into a comfortable routine with your honey, you've got a potentially nasty surprise coming -- the surprise of life. Life is all about changes that come out of seemingly nowhere, and you've got to be adaptable enough to roll with the punches. And the thing is, you are adaptable; you just don't know it yet. If the prospect of the unknown future sets you to shaking in your boots, repeat the following mantra: I'm strong and capable, and I can handle whatever comes my way. I don't need a lover to shield me from life.