You want to find true, lasting love -- the stable, committed relationship you've always dreamed of. But you also want to 'sow your wild oats,' or maybe it isn't even that straightforward. Perhaps whatever it is that holds you back from a comfortable commitment with someone special is more abstract than that; maybe, deep down in your soul, you want some kind of intellectual freedom that you're afraid you can't have in a relationship.
Your theories on life, after all, are very important to you -- as is your right and ability to philosophize. If you've ever been romantically involved with someone who wasn't interested in your theorizing, the experience might have left a bad taste in your mouth. You may think that falling in love for the long term will necessarily mean an end to all your spiritual questing, but it doesn't have to be that way. You could find a partner who was interested in traveling those paths with you -- even if it meant that, at times, you weren't together in the same place. But that's easier said than done, of course; and your first step toward finding that expansive love is letting go of your own fear that commitment will curb your freedom.