A romantic relationship between you is characterized by tension and friction that exists naturally and on a very basic level. The problem between you is the fundamental differences in what each of you, as an individual, needs out of a romantic connection. You are rather different people, and there is a disparity between how you see one another and what both of you are actually like as human beings.
Think of it as viewing each other and the relationship through your own filter -- something that you both do naturally. Whatever your expectations for the relationship might be, they probably aren't met, and you end up spending a lot of time talking things out, at best, or hashing them out, even arguing, each trying to force the other person to understand your point of view and your needs. It is important, of course, to be heard and understood in a relationship, and to have your needs met; but sometimes it's best to take a step back and admit to yourself that you're simply two different people with two different frames of reference for what an intimate relationship should be like. That is the case in this relationship. In order to make it work, you both have to abandon any preconceived ideas about what you intend to get from one another, and to learn to see one another clearly, rather than through the filter of your own life.