You two know almost instinctively how to get under each other's skin. Your lover probably tries to control you -- what you do and when, what you say and don't say -- even if that's not normally in their nature. Something about your insistence on independence makes them try to pin you down by force.
You rebel against any controlling efforts on their part. You willfully demonstrate to them again and again that you're an individual -- which, of course, obscures the fact that as a couple, you're supposed to be on the same team. Arguing as much as you two are likely to do makes it hard to feel like anything other than adversaries! This unpredictable energy spills over into your sexual connection, as well. When it comes to sensuality, most of us are very vulnerable to criticism and rejection. You two are no different, and when you reject each other's advances again and again, the damage sets in. Your partner, especially, feels that their natural passion is dampened in this relationship, and you feel that your independence is threatened. This relationship may not last under the pressure of your mutual inability to cooperate with each other; you both might be better off with someone who doesn't push so many of your buttons.