There's no nice way to put this, so here goes, blunt and honest -- you might just want to discontinue this relationship altogether. Unless there are plenty of harmonious aspects between you to make things nice and easy in your relationship, you're likely to just live out an old dynamic from a past life, in which you were involved in a really unhealthy way. That cycle of control and domination hasn't yet been broken, and in this life, you just do it all over again.
You cause your lover the same grief that you did all those lifetimes ago; you make them feel afraid to be who they are, to speak their mind, to behave in the ways that are most natural to them. That's no way to feel in a relationship in which they're supposed to be loved and respected. A love relationship should uplift and enlighten you both; at the very least, you should have a really good time together. Love shouldn't make you feel oppressed, doubtful of yourself and your instincts and scared to be the person you are. You should support your lover, not drag or even tear them down, emotionally or otherwise. With this aspect between you, it might prove too difficult to create all that goodness that you both deserve.