This aspect doesn't make things easy between you, and it could make it really hard to get along. Overtly, it feels to you as if your lover is a restrictive influence on the way that you would normally, naturally grow in your life; but subconsciously, it could be quite the opposite. Whether consciously or not, you each know just what the other needs to do to transform in life.
Some big, deep-rooted need for change exists in each of you, and you, especially, ferret that out, perhaps without even meaning to. Does your partner need to grow up a little? Get a firmer grip on their emotions or their path in life? Whatever it is that they need to do to get to the next level of personhood, you zero in on it and press those buttons again and again. The problem is, having your buttons pushed can be really frustrating and annoying! When you're together, your partner never feels like they can just relax, have a good time and trust that things are fine as they are. There is always a feeling between you that things are not fine -- far from it -- and you'd better fix it fast, or else! But your partner doesn't know how to fix it. How can they fix something that's so deeply rooted, even unconscious? One thing is certain -- neither of you are able to figure anything out until you abandon the idea that it's all the other person's fault, and none of your own!