After a while, you both begin to notice subtle differences in the ways that your minds work. You process things intellectually in different ways, first off; your partner is more analytical about life than you are, and they're confused by your more emotional (sometimes explosively emotional) way of dealing with changes and other upsetting occurrences. You, on the other hand, have a hard time understanding how analysis and thinking things through could matter at a time of intense emotion -- and neither one of you is right or wrong in your own stance.
As a couple, you're basically suffering a conflict of the mind versus the emotions. It's just two different ways of dealing with things, which could be hard to get in sync. In this particular way, you're speaking two different languages, and it's hard for trust to grow between you because you rarely understand where the other is coming from. But growth, as individuals and as a couple, is essential in a relationship, and being supported by your lover in your own growth trajectory is invaluable. So how can your lover support the growth of someone whose process they don't even understand? For starters, you can both make the effort to talk about your individual needs, listen to each other and really try to form your responses to each other according to what your lover needs -- not what is your instinct to give.