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North Node quincunx Sun

Going it alone

Kelli Fox

When any of us enters a relationship, there is the tendency to join forces on a deep level with our new partner -- to merge our own personalities, needs and ideals with those of this new person in our life. Some people call this the honeymoon period, and it's both natural and expected. In this particular relationship, you have to be even more conscious of this tendency than usual, because you feel a certain level of incompatibility with each other.

It might not be apparent in the beginning, when you get along well and everything seems smooth. But as your relationship deepens and you get to know one another even better, you realize that you're not the same person, after all -- you have needs and desires that are quite different from your lover's. This realization is a natural part of your relationship's development, but it could bring up some irritation inside both of you. You might even feel at times as if you're dealing with a stranger, rather than with this person with whom you're intimate. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, of course. It simply means accepting the fact that you're two individuals trying to make your union work. Sometimes, it works really well, to the benefit of both of you. Other times, you have to go it alone, even within the relationship.

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