You have a hard time matching up when it comes to your individual emotional needs, and this is an even more difficult situation due to the fact that you really want to make that connection. Something within your lover makes you feel hopeful about the relationship -- as if this could be the one -- and in fact, it could be. It will take a lot of conscious work on both your parts to make it happen, because you're pretty much opposed when it comes to your emotional lives.
You have a hard time making each other feel well-loved and cared for. Instead of having the warm, loving bond that you want, you have a cool connection that leaves you feeling insecure. You might start pressuring your lover for the assurances you need, instead of just letting it happen naturally -- because when you let it happen naturally, it feels like it might never happen! It could even get to the point where jealousy and possessiveness become a real problem, especially if you see each other being emotionally generous and supportive with other people -- friends, family members and so on. Any indication that your partner is able to treat people with sensitivity and care, but just doesn't give these things to you on a regular basis, feels like a jab under the skin.