You two know almost instinctively how to get under each other's skin. You probably try to control this person -- what they do and when, what they say and don't say -- even if that's not normally in your nature. Something about their insistence on independence makes you try to pin them down by force.
But they rebel against any controlling efforts on your part. They willfully demonstrate to you again and again that they're an individual -- which, of course, obscures the fact that as a couple, you're supposed to be on the same team. But arguing as much as you two are likely to do makes it hard to feel like anything other than adversaries! This unpredictable energy spills over into your sexual connection, as well. When it comes to sensuality, most of us are very vulnerable to criticism and rejection. You two are no different, and as you reject each other's advances again and again, the damage becomes worse and worse. You, especially, feel that your natural passion is dampened in this relationship, and your partner feels that their independence is threatened. This relationship is difficult under the pressure of your mutual inability to cooperate with each other; you both need to realize you have to take a step back from those buttons you each like to push.