Watch out -- your relationship could become an uncomfortable push-pull between wanting to be together but needing independence! Anytime things get too comfortable or routine between you, your partner spoils for an upset -- because this aspect and routine of any kind do not mix. You might both very much want a sense of stability between you, but you find that it's next to impossible -- so your best course might just be to stop trying.
Striving for permanence and security within this relationship only leads to struggles and arguments. You can't and shouldn't be held down, and neither should your partner. That's not to say that you don't have a lot to learn from each other, or that you can't both derive something important from your connection. If nothing else, you both learn what you need in a relationship in terms of security versus independence, purely through struggling to achieve that elusive balance. Intimacy is difficult for you two to achieve together, coming in short bursts at best. But again, that in itself is a lesson to you. Can you handle occasional intimacy, or do you need something much closer and more reliable? Your partner comes across as cold and unfeeling to you in the moments when they need their independence. Do you allow this coldness to hurt you or do you learn to understand and accept it for what it is? Friendship might end up being a better expression for the two of you.