It's pitiful to see poor you in such a state, literally starved for love. Your so-called sweeties have really been holding out on you, haven't they? And you seem to be in some kind of terrible loop, where each relationship reinforces the last.
You keep choosing contained, precise partners, looking for a challenge. And you've certainly received what you asked for -- one heck of a challenge. Now you've broken under the strain, after doing things you wouldn't do if you were in your right mind, trying to get the stroking you deserve. But don't be so quick to throw your love life on the ash heap. Try choosing a lover who's not shiny on the surface but who is solid to the core. You may not have as much fun in this relationship as you might like, but you'll be on the road to a love relationship that demands the best from you even while it gives you the kind of satisfaction that can endure for a lifetime. Look for the oatmeal of lovers, hardly glamorous but undeniably down-to-earth, dependable and good for you.