The problems in your past relationships might not have been a problem for everyone, but given your makeup, they were for you. You've had a hard time connecting with anyone on the physical level. You lacked heat with your lovers.
When you kissed you didn't feel butterflies; in fact, you had to work to feel anything at all. Worse, you chose lovers who tended to be somewhat cold, withholding the easy affection and cuddling that might have make up for a lack of ardor elsewhere. The answer lies, surprisingly, in your distant past. Why are you so intent on showing your love physically? What would it mean to you to have a lover who yearns for an erotic connection with you? What insecurities of yours are tweaked by a lover who can resist your wiles -- and just who in your past does this attraction/repulsion, push/pull scenario remind you of? Once you rid yourself of your emotional baggage, your ideal relationship could be blessed with lasting stability. The power is within you, so get to work!