You brought all this misery on yourself, my dear. You knew what you were doing when you chose those strong-willed partners, all intensity and mystery. Your intentions were to lure a strong mate who would challenge you on all levels.
And that's just what you got -- but they made you miserable! The core of the problem is control: You don't want to share it! You're used to being in the driver's seat; it's what comes naturally to you. But your previous lovers had power issues just as strong as yours, and they were so intent on being in charge (and so willing to punish you with sulks and sudden disappearances should you not fall into line) that you sometimes gave in just to avoid an argument -- and regretted it later. It always feels like you and your lovers are locked in an eternal battle. Sorry, but you're going to have to let go of that wheel a little if your relationships are going to move forward. Relax. Enjoy the feeling of someone else taking care of you, for a change. Realize that there is power and peace in relinquishing leadership. If you stop making a big deal about the small things, your lovers are more likely to let you have your way when the big things pop up.