Control has been at the heart of your relationship dramas. Each of you wanted to hold the whip, to be the one who set the agenda for your pairing. But you both struggled against what you viewed as the threat emanating from each other.
You wanted to be the boss, the parent, demanding and receiving unquestioning obedience from a partner who was secondary to you in every way. But of course you didn't choose a partner who was comfortable in the sidekick role. You may have thought you were in control, but it's more likely that your partner was letting you believe what you liked in order to maneuver you into some direction or another. In short, you were probably being manipulated, whether you knew it or not.Consider the other side of the coin. One of the reasons your pairings were such a struggle is that you picked strong, even matches -- a trend that is likely to continue in your next relationship. In the best of all worlds, neither partner will let the other rule, and that's a good thing. The challenge keeps things exciting, and you know you're with someone you can respect, an equal who'll be able to stand up to you in the long haul. And in the long run that's more important to you than ease and contentment.