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Learning to Stand Up for Yourself

Kelli Fox

You've always much preferred the easy route, haven't you? And while that gives you a laid-back personality and helps you get along with lots of different types of people, you're not much for standing up for yourself or your needs, and you may have stayed in relationships long past their expiration date. After all, you'd much rather avoid confrontation and put up with the discomfort of whatever it is that's bothering you than face it head-on, because conflict scares you -- and you're just not that motivated when it comes to making positive but difficult changes in your life, like breaking up and moving on.

The problem is, in love relationships, both people need to have their needs met and their true feelings known. If you're always saying, 'No problem, honey, it's fine, we can do it your way,' how's your honey supposed to know that you're withering away on the inside due to neglect? Your partners in the past may even have lost respect for you over time, because you so rarely took a stand. You might have let them walk all over you just to avoid having to admit that there was a problem and do something about it. So start focusing on your own needs, and speaking your own truth. Becoming self-centered and demanding would create a whole new set of problems, but finding that happy medium -- being your easy-going self while being willing to speak up and confront a problem -- will lead to much greater equality between you and your future lover. They'll respect you a lot more, too.

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