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My Way or the Highway

Kelli Fox

You've never been much for compromise, have you? In past relationships, when issues came up between you and your lover, you used whatever tools you had -- sweetly cajoling, arguing, turning a cold shoulder -- to get your own way. But why was having your own way so important?

After all, other people have feelings, needs and agendas, too, just like yours. Who decides which person's need is the most important one in any given moment? That's a perennial question for all relationships, and except in the one between an infant and its caretaker, the answer isn't as simple as 'I decide, and my needs always come first.' Relationships, after all, should be about give and take. Sometimes you get your way; sometimes your lover does. Insisting on always getting your way not only makes you look uncomfortably similar to that aforementioned infant, it could actually lead to loneliness. After all, if it's a choice between getting your way or bailing out of the relationship, well, you'll end up either with a partner who's a pushover or sleeping alone. If you want a well-functioning, long-term relationship, you'll have to learn to choose your battles. The art of compromise is the perfect place to start your lessons, because if you give your lover a little, they'll probably want to give back a lot. You'll feel a lot better once you learn to step back and let someone else take reins from time to time.

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1 Comment

  1. Jennifer monson on June 21, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    Wow! This whole report was spot on except for one detail. Thanks for the compliment that Im in my fifties! Actually Im 65. I am amazed with the accuracy. Thank you!!!

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