You probably thought you were being helpful when you criticized every little thing that your past lovers did wrong. You were just trying to improve them, after all. You didn't mind staying up late into the night, analyzing your relationship and the ways in which your partner could change to make it better.
The detailed lists you provided them when you broke up were going to be most useful, you were sure. Your sights were so focused on the intricate minutiae that you failed completely to see the big picture. So when they told you they were leaving, you were shocked. But oddly enough, you had that list ready.What is needed here is some type of perspective adjustment. Details are important, but only as pieces of a much bigger puzzle. You're careful and practical in your thinking, so if someone you value is willing to help you prioritize information, gratefully accept their help. Your ideal partner is someone who can do that as well as appreciating the finer qualities of your mental processes, and who enjoys the intellect as much as you do.