You want things how you want them, and that's just the way it is. Your strict schedule doesn't leave a lot of time for love, unless, of course, your lover makes an appointment with you. And spontaneous love sessions?
Well, they disrupt your entire day! Why would you do that? Can you see how your previous lovers got weary of just being another item on your 'to-do' list? And that they resented the fact that you made them take a shower before they got into bed, as if they were some type of public heath hazard? Then there's your performance anxiety, which is sky high and certainly doesn't contribute to successful bed play.What's up with all your rules, anyway? Are you 'should'-ing all over yourself? Can you not find some release, some way to redirect all your nervous energy away from the love situations in your life to someplace where it will be more useful? Like your job, perhaps. When it comes to love, you've got to let go a little bit. Try to enjoy yourself on the path to perfection. It will make your trip much more enjoyable, and that's important since you'll never reach perfection, anyway.