Like a pendulum, you swing back and forth between the extremes of optimism and despair, faith and hopelessness, confidence and self-doubt. You stick with one side until the pressure builds and then you flip-flop back to the other side, until the pressure there becomes unbearable, and so on, ad nauseum. Until you find a way to walk the middle ground, to find a central path by blending the two extremes, the swings are likely to continue.
It will be very worthwhile to find that middle ground for other reasons, too, for it is in that sector that your belief systems can stabilize and your crises of faith subside. In the middle zone, you learn about history and, in a larger sense, apply method and discipline to your freewheeling mind, so your self-education becomes more broad yet more focused as time goes by. You have the ability to entertain both sides of a question, which makes you a natural in the legal profession, and as a teacher you could have many devoted students who admire you for your integrity and moral backbone. You may prefer the company of persons far younger -- or far older -- to people your own age. Make it a point to have friends of all ages.