You probably told your friends stories about how you and your mate hit it off right from the start. 'Love at first sight,' you said, spinning tales about the instant connection you felt, the dizzying chemistry. But you were not as eager to discuss what came next: conflicts, misunderstandings, friction, problems galore.
The problems you faced were many and towering. It was likely that one of you -- probably you -- felt less connected than the other, that your lover was pushing you for a commitment and demanding you make promises you would rather have avoided. You may have felt as though you were infatuated but not comfortably, deeply in love, and you may even have felt that remaining faithful was unlikely.You grabbed on to a love relationship that was hot and exciting, but not as well-placed for durability. So if you had wanted things to continue, you were going to need to enjoy the sizzling connection between you even as you injected a note of reality into your idyll. You had to integrate your family and work life into your love life; make space in your day-to-day habits for your lover. There was much to love about the one you snared; but you wasted energy keeping your mate at arm's length when you could have been happily in love.