Romantic success seemed so tantalizingly close for you and your lover. But were you looking at things as they really were, or as you wished they were? There was something insubstantial in your pairing, something secret or unexpressed lurking right beneath the surface.
Did one of you have issues from the past you'd never admitted or worked through? Was one of you up to something secretive and unhealthy? Whatever the issue was, it caused problems between you, problems you couldn't solve without owning up to exactly what was wrong.So you should have sat down together. Talked about your feelings. What were each of you looking for in your relationship? What was it you needed that you were not getting? And, most painfully, what parts of you did you fear were unlovable? It could have turned out that your fears and anxieties were not grounded in reality. And in any case, you would have had to let the real you be known if you were going to be loved and accepted. You didn't let your true self be seen. You feared that when you opened up you would be rejected. Your lover had tender regard for you; letting that love in to your private, bruised parts would have started a glorious healing process.