Which partner were you -- the older one who acted more like a stern boss than a sweet lover, or the younger one who privately rebelled against the strictures? Whichever part you played, you found an uncomfortable niche. There was a considerable age difference between you, and it set up restricting roles for both of you.
One of you played Svengali, the other Lolita, and neither one of you were happy. Part of the problem was that you came from very different families; one vibrant and emotional, the other staid and calm. As adults, you loved each other in the ways you learned in childhood. But you didn't appreciate the differences; instead you defined each other as overemotional or cold, respectively. The overall effect was stifling.But all did not have to be lost. The word for you two should have been 'respect.' The older partner had to learn to respect the younger, see that younger person as an equal. The younger person had to learn to respect the older one's emotional style and not demand displays of affection that the other found difficult or embarrassing. Given the ease that respect would have engendered, your pairing would have been well-placed to move forward.