You were overawed by your sweetie, and it led to some rather embarrassing situations. You felt too much, revealed your unattractive feelings too nakedly, and it left you feeling rather humiliated. It didn't help that your lover was so imprudent and rash, impatient to gloss over any problems without learning the lessons they had to impart.
You may have felt as if you couldn't recover from the blows, as if you revealed your hand and now you were irretrievably damaged in your lover's eyes. But your fears were mostly just your own insecurities. Your mate wasn't really interested in searching beneath the surface; if things were going okay in the day-to-day sense, the subtleties and gradations you saw didn't really exist for your partner.Still, the frustration you felt needed an outlet. Could you have poured your emotions into physicality? In that arena of your relationship, you and your partner had occasional high spots, punctuated with dramatic timing issues. You should have stopped withholding your affections, and allowed yourself to relax into your lover's embrace when it was available. A little time spent shoring up your physical connection could have yielded good feelings that would leak into other, more troublesome facets of your lives together. In any event, this difficult pairing would have required a lot or work to work out.