Control was at the heart of your relationship drama. Each of you wanted to hold the whip, be the one to set the agenda for your pairing. But you both struggled against what you viewed as the threat emanating from each other.
You wished to be the boss, the parent, demanding and receiving unquestioning obedience from a partner who was secondary to you in every way. Only thing is, you didn't choose a partner comfortable in the sidekick role. You may have thought you were in control, but it was more likely that your partner let you believe what you liked in order to maneuver you into some direction or another. In short, you were probably being manipulated, whether you knew it or not.But there was a good side. One of the reasons your pairing was such a struggle was that you were such a strong, even match. Neither of you would let the other rule, and that was a good thing. The challenge kept things exciting, and you knew you were with someone you could respect, an equal who would be able to stand up to you in the long haul. If you had wanted this to work, you had to decide that in the long run it was more important to you than ease and contentment. If you'd like things a little easier next time, search for a less controlling partner.