The two of you were trapped on the hamster wheel of bad love, and it felt like you couldn't escape. The same pattern played itself out over and over again: Your mate did something to irritate you or challenge your authority, and you withdrew and withheld your loving. This made your lover do something even more drastic in an attempt to get your attention.
You withheld still further. Sound familiar? The two of you seemed to never move beyond this kind of childish, provocative game-playing. it felt as though you were playing a game of chess with a very tricky opponent, as if you couldn't let go and be comfortable and easy.On the other hand, the emotional intensity of your pairing was exquisitely agonizing. Things were always on with a vengeance, or terribly awry. You didn't like the downs, but the ups were glorious enough to keep you going for a while, addicted to the sheer high of living life with your sweetie. Your transparent attempts to control the other could be viewed as high comedy rather than base treachery. If you wanted to make this work, why didn't yo try to cultivate an attitude of tolerance? The chill between you and your partner would have evaporated once the pressure was off. You'll have much more fun in relationships once you give up the illusion of control.