Pat Benatar once sang that love is a battlefield, and she certainly pinned the nail on you and your sig other. What you had was basically an immovable object (your mate) meeting an irresistible force (chameleon-like you). You battled over problems large and small, particularly in the bedroom, where physicality was a weapon.
Your partner pushed you aggressively -- you slunk away secretively. It may be that there was some moral issue keeping you apart -- was there something secretive and unhealthy about your pairing? Even if this was not the problem, there was some kind of unease, anxiety and confusion making day-to-day life with your sweetie a real drag.Change begins from within and that's where you needed to start if you wanted this relationship to work. For make no mistake, you would have had to be the one who changed first. Most importantly, you needed a confrontation with reality. You needed to assume responsibility for the choices you made, for who you were. You had to acknowledge your inner conflicts without guilt or denial. Acceptance was your first step; and though difficult, it would have brought you an inner peace that would have radiated out to life with your partner and beyond.