Soul Mates or Just Another Date? Astrology Holds the Answers

Kelli Fox

When your goal is a loving, committed partnership, most everyone agrees: You should settle for nothing less than true love with “the One.” But how can you know for certain whether the object of your affections is truly your soul mate? Even when your connection seems fated and your personalities mesh perfectly together — think mind-blowing conversations, toe-curling sex and that wonderful sense of simply being meant to be — it can still be tough to know whether you’ve found forever with that special person, or if your connection is just for now. If you’re feeling uncertain about the long-term potential of your love affair, there’s no better source for seeking answers than astrology. If you know your lover’s birth date, time and location, along with your own, you can compare the placements of certain planets in your birth charts and glean some fascinating clues as to the future of your romance. Read on to learn more about how to determine your relationship compatibility based on the stars.

The first thing you need to know is that there’s a lot more to the equation than just your Sun signs — but your Sun signs are certainly the right place to start. Your first step, then, is to find out what type of connection your Sun sign and your sweetheart’s promise to make. Will it be one marked by plenty of passion and natural chemistry? Will you enjoy excellent, open communication? Will you treat one another as friends, and nurture and support each other through life’s hard knocks? Or does your particular blend of signs point to conflict, differing values, or simply one missed signal after another?

This is important information to know, to be sure. But don’t stop there — and don’t be disheartened if your Sun signs don’t seem entirely compatible. For one thing, people tend to seek out a lover who challenges them — someone who forces them to face up to their own issues or their lack of certain internal qualities. And everyone knows that opposites attract; many times, two very different people will fall for one another precisely because they possess complementary qualities that, when put together, complete one another. And finally, there’s simply a lot more to astrology than the signs of the Zodiac. Accordingly, there’s much more to a romantic relationship than simply the compatibility of two lovers’ Zodiac signs.

Thus, once you’ve determined how well suited your Sun sign energies are — or aren’t — move on next to your Moon signs. In astrology, the Moon governs our emotional lives, including how we feel (or, in some cases, intellectualize) our emotions, and how we share and express them to others. In some ways, Moon sign compatibility can be even more important than compatible Sun signs in a love affair. There’s a reason why people call them “affairs of the heart,” after all — romantic connections are all about that heart-to-heart connection. How well you and your sweetheart match up on this deep level has a lot to do with your Moon signs.

It also has a great deal to do with Venus, also known as the planet of love. Venus rules pleasure, social connections and romantic love. If you and the object of your affections share a strong Venus connection — meaning that Venus lies in compatible signs in your birth charts — that can greatly strengthen your other points of connection, such as well matched Sun and Moon signs. It can also help to mitigate other, more stressful points of conflict you might share, if your Sun or Moon signs aren’t such a strong combination. Venus holds an important key to the partnership that you and your lover can build together. Will you forge a deeply intimate bond, or will it ultimately be too difficult to trust one another at that heart level? Will you feel adored, nurtured and understood by your sweetheart, or will they leave you feeling a bit left out in the cold? The answers to these questions depend in large part on your Venus signs.

Mars, the planet of passion, also has monumental influence on a love affair. Once you’ve determined the compatibility of your Sun, Moon and Venus signs, it’s time to take a close look at Mars — the planet that rules your sexual nature and how you pursue the object of your desires. A strong Mars connection — meaning that Mars lies in compatible signs in your birth chart and your lover’s — creates a feeling of ardent passion between you. Is that always a good thing? Depending on the relationship, great passion can be wonderful, challenging, or both. Sometimes, sharing incredible physical chemistry can be so powerfully compelling that it keeps two people entangled far longer than other aspects of their relationship might merit. You’ve seen that type of relationship in action, and perhaps you’ve even been involved in one yourself: The two people involved can’t keep their hands off one another, even if they don’t get along anywhere but the bedroom — and their epic arguments might even feed their sexual appetites. Can this red-hot type of connection last in the long term? It all depends on the two people involved, their needs and expectations in love, and how well they tolerate conflict. Similarly, a relationship between two people who adore one another, who feel like best friends yet who lack a passionate bond can last long-term, if both partners are willing to accept the trade-off of passion for affection. On the other hand, a weak Mars connection can sometimes spell the beginning of the end of the relationship; without that strong current of energy running between you, it can be tough to distinguish your love affair from simple friendship.

Finally, when trying to determine your compatibility with that special someone, it’s important to look at not just your Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars signs, but also those signs’ elements. In astrology, each of the twelve Zodiac signs is associated with one of the four elements of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. Each sign’s element lends it certain characteristics: Fire signs are known to be extra passionate, while Earth signs are especially grounded, Air signs are uniquely intellectual, and Water signs are deeply emotional. In general, Fire and Air signs tend to work well together: Just as wind spreads flames, these two can inspire passionate feelings and high-flying ideas within one another. Earth and Water signs also tend to make a good match; just as water nourishes the earth in nature, these two can share a deeply nurturing and supportive bond. If your various planets are in signs of elements that are compatible with those of your sweetheart, it can spell long-term success for your relationship.

Once you’ve examined your birth charts and determined these various astrological connections between yourself and the one you love, you’ll have a much clearer picture of the romantic future you two could share. Again, don’t let a lack of traditionally strong connections between your birth charts disappoint you. Sometimes, it’s the more stressful aspects between two lovers’ charts that actually forge their deeply loving, committed bond, since these are the connections that force both partners to grow, change and evolve. Everyone has facets of their personality that are in need of an overhaul; you’re lucky if you fall in love with someone who challenges you to become your best version of yourself. And as long as the two of you transform together, you can weather any challenge that life happens to toss into your path.

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