The problem within your relationship might not be a problem for everyone. Unfortunately, given your makeup, it is for you. You lack heat together.
Lusty, sensual being that you are, you've felt the zing of a hot physical connection before, and this ain't it. When you kiss you don't feel butterflies. In fact, you have to work to feel anything at all. Worse, your lover tends to be somewhat cold, withholding the easy affection and cuddles that might make up for a lack of ardor elsewhere. The answer lies, surprisingly, in your past. What are the reasons you're so intent on showing your love physically? What does it mean to you to have a lover who yearns for an erotic connection with you? What insecurities of yours are tweaked by a lover who can resist your wiles -- and just who in your past does this attraction/repulsion, push/pull scenario remind you of? Once you rid yourself of your emotional baggage (as well as your knee-jerk desire to wrap your lover around your little finger), this relationship could be blessed with lasting stability. The power is within you, now get to work!