Oh, you poor thing. You do try so hard, don't you? Always earnestly striving to improve yourself, tune up your relationship, make yourself clear.
You're convinced that if your lover would only understand your point of view, if you could find the right words, than all the awkwardness between you would disappear. Sorry, but it's not that easy. Think of it like this: You're a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. You and your mate have much in common: verve, drive, a zest for life. But there are many other things you disagree on. You, in particular, struggle with arrogance, jealousy, insecurity; all things you know make you less attractive to your dazzling catch of a mate. There are others who'd like to take your place and you know it. But you can't seem to stop trying to explain yourself once and for all and clear things up between you. Nothing you can say will work the trick, though. The key is in your behavior. Are you delightful to come home to, loving, interested in what your mate says and does? No? If not, nothing you can say will take the place of that lack.