You brought this on yourself, my dear. You knew what you were doing when you chose a strong-willed partner, all intensity and mystery. Your intention was to lure a strong mate who would challenge you on all levels.
That's just what you've got -- and it's making you miserable. The core of the problem is control: both of you want it! You're used to being in the driver's seat; it's what comes naturally to you. But your sweetie is so intent on being in charge (and so willing to punish you with sulks and sudden disappearances should you not fall into line) that you most often give in just for an easy life -- and regret it later. It feels like you and your lover are locked in an eternal battle. Afraid you're going to have to let go of that wheel a little if this relationship is going to move anywhere. Relax. Enjoy the feeling of someone taking care of you for a change. Realize that there is power and peace in relinquishing leadership. If you stop making a big deal about the small things, your sweetie's more likely to let you have your way when the big things pop up.