Whether you believe in karma or not, it's coming back to bite you in this relationship. You're getting the same treatment you doled out to someone else in the past, and you don't like it one bit. There's an age difference between you and your partner, one that likely hovers around 7 years, and it's caused a schism between you.
The older of your pairing treats the younger one more like a wayward teenager than an equal partner: Rules are set down, deviations are criticized, dreams are crushed. The younger partner is left to play the part of a naughty child, rebelling in secret while submitting outwardly. And both of you think you know better than your mate, a problem that contributes to your not listening to each other.The solution to your problems is to lighten up a little while still holding on to what works in your relationship. You help keep each other focused on achieving your goals. But you don't have a lot of fun together. Make time for activities you both enjoy. Don't neglect the sweet side of your pairing. If you can work through your issues, you've got a pairing in which much work and accomplishment is possible.