Which partner are you -- the older one who acts more like a stern boss than a sweet lover, or the younger one who privately rebels against the strictures? Whichever part you're playing, you've found an uncomfortable niche. There's a considerable age difference between you, and it's set up restricting roles for both of you.
One of you plays Svengali, the other Lolita, and neither one of you are happy. Part of the problem is that you came from very different families; one vibrant and emotional, the other staid and calm. Now, as adults, you love each other in the ways you learned in childhood. But you don't appreciate the differences; instead you define each other as overemotional or cold, respectively. The overall effect is stifling.But all is not lost. The word for you two should be 'respect.' The older partner has to learn to respect the younger, see that younger person as an equal. The younger person must learn to respect the older one's emotional style and not demand displays of affection that the other finds difficult or embarrassing. Given the ease that respect will engender, your pairing is well-placed to move forward.