There is a significant mismatch between you and your mate. One of you is about fourteen years older than the other, and probably better-placed and more secure than the other -- better educated? More financially successful?
Whatever the mismatch is, it's caused a pattern to emerge in which the disadvantaged partner is treated like an inferior. The 'parent' orders the 'child' around, demands adherence to a strict set of rules, and maneuvers to make the lesser partner very dependent. Meanwhile, the rebellious 'child' feels inadequate and fearful. And both of you feel threatened by the other. You each feel insecure and pessimistic as to the future of your relationship.How can you untie this Gordian knot of negativity? You must both work concretely towards becoming more equal. The parental partner must scale back the authority; the childish partner must take on new challenges and responsibility. The adjustment is not easy; on the contrary, it is extraordinarily uncomfortable for both of you. But working through your problems will grant an ease that will provide support for your many accomplishments, a glorious backdrop to your great works.