If you start feeling in this relationship as if your wills are pitted against each other, know that this is an old, old pattern you're acting out together, one that dates back to another time and place, when one of you dominated the other ruthlessly, either as their slave master, their prison warden or their controlling lover. Who did what to whom in another life no longer matters; what matters now is the sense of aggression and urgency that will characterize your present-day interaction. You'll both sense that something deep, painful and important is happening when you come together and begin to dance those old, familiar steps of control, anger and transformation.
If you're to turn this connection into something meaningful and mutually satisfying, you'll have to change yourselves and each other, which will be more easily said than done. You'll both resist this growth, because you both still have pain left in your souls from that long-ago, adversarial connection that you experienced together. Your lover's need for independence will be especially trying for you to deal with; you'll struggle against them, trying to control them rather than allowing them the space they need to develop into the individual that they want to be. Rather than holding them back by subjecting them to your resentment and other difficult emotions, try talking out your feelings calmly, working hard to give each other the gift of freedom and understanding.