You two must have been members of opposing armies in a past life, because that old, angry karmic residue is still strongly present between you today. This person will set you off in ways that other people don't. Their independence will seem to you like rebellion -- against you, against intimacy, against the relationship itself.
A controlling streak you may not even have known you had will come out in this relationship as you try to keep your new, unpredictable lover in their place...unless you can take a more measured and deliberate look at the state of the affair. Continuing with the anger and irritation, the impulsiveness, rebellion and aggressive attempts at control, will only keep you running the same path you've already worn down with this person. But finding a new way to deal with the feelings they evoke in you will be an important karmic lesson. Though you'll think they're the problem -- never showing up on time, always doing the exact opposite of what you want, need or demand -- the issue can just as easily be pinpointed in your own inability to see and accept them for who they truly are. Only when you can calm down enough to see past your feelings of hurt and anxiety will you be able to recognize that your buttons are, quite simply, being pushed in a big way. If this relationship progresses, you'll simply have to find a way to operate as allies rather than as age-old enemies.